I would say that I am experiencing a paradox. While I am excited about my present state, and look foreword to my future state optimistically, I feel subject to a subtle haunting by my past. It is hard to describe. I am planning a month long expedition, leaving my job with the a literal blessing of my supervisor who I respect insurmountably. I am fulfilling a promise to myself in doing this and feel I might return to a perspective with more possibilities. My wife is more beautiful each day, quitting smoking and successfully hustling in her unique and creative way. I am reading more and getting out in the world...but I feel that upon this scene someone has folded a decade old section of me.
What section it is I do not know. But this thing, this hook planted so long ago has sent its line ahead and I am just now snagging it. Perhaps its a potency I had once that I lack. How was I reminded of it. An old vibration -
...and why am I writing in awkward analogy? Because I do not know, but I do feel.